Based on the truth, and lies.
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Monday, February 23, 2004
If you don't believe me If you don't believe this Sell your soul Sell yourself If you don't get into it no one will
Current music: radiohead - polyethylene
Saturday, February 21, 2004
5:41PM
She says It helps with the lights out Her rabid glow is like braille to the night. She swears I'm a slave to the details But if your life is such a big joke, why should I care?
Current mood:  thoughtful
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
5:22PM
ahh just got back from redeemer (community service) i was talking to courtney for like two hours it was wierd seeing her again yea i had to watch little kids it was alright though i hope this weekend doesn't slip by like the rest i want to do something alright imma go call someone later
Current music: coheed and cambria - The Velorium Camper III: Al The Killer
Sunday, February 15, 2004
9:06PM
well it's sunday this weekend was pretty boring friday i think we jsut skated all night and just chilled i kinda forget saturday my friend greg came up and we just skated once again tonight i hung out at jons all day we went out and skated every once and a while thats about it, talk to you all later
Thursday, February 12, 2004
8:17PM
what if there is no god? what if the bible is some story made up by some crazy asshole? what if some people have based their lives on something that doesn't exist? what if nothing happens for a reason? what if i never went to redeemer? what if i never started skatin? who would i be? where would i be? what if i could change some stuff?
damn..
what if?
Monday, February 9, 2004
3:25PM
friday i hung out wit jaime and her friend jackie miguel and chris were with me we had a fun time saturday was a good skate day all up until i busted my ankle again its all swollen and shit oh well then sunday we just sat in (me jon and chris) well thats about it school wasn't that bad today alright later
Friday, February 6, 2004
3:03AM
ugh finally the end of the week this weekend should be cool tonight i think im goin up jaime's then tomorrow i think im hangin out with erin and her friends then sunday i might just chill or go to the skatepark or somethin i dunno ill write at the end of the weekend to tell you all how things went peace
Current mood:  anxious
Monday, February 2, 2004
8:59PM
I'm seein red Don't think you'll have to see my face again don't have much time for sympathy Cuz it never happened to me
So follow the leader down And swallow your pride and drown When there's no place left to go Maybe thats when you will know
Sunday, February 1, 2004
11:39PM
man i really need to get up and get out i've been just sitten around lately i need to meet some people need to find new stuff i'm so sick of the same old same old i need to skate more beginning of a new quarter i'm going to do good no more bullshitting around it's a whole new outlook on everything for me why hate life? i should enjoy it and get as much fun out of it as possible and i'm going to no more pills no more drinkin no more of that stuff it's pointless everything's going to be great and i'm so excited.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
1:54AM
its 2 in the morning school at 7 what the fuck
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
11:09PM
I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out then to fade away.
-Kurt Cobain-
yea, that pretty much explains it.
Current mood: man it's just ehh Current music: some good old nirvana
Monday, January 26, 2004
12:42AM
well me and tabby broke up i don't know why she hates me so much it wasn't all my fault anyway im only puttin this in here for her sake i hope she can move on she has a better soul then me and it wouldn't be right for me to bring her down to my level i guess ill be gettin an i hate you letter or a nasty comment or something but i guess i deserve it so call me what you want i wont fight back ill just take it so before you hate me forever just know that i did care about you.
If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand. I hope you find out what you want. I already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again. And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am. I'll grow old and start acting my age. I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone. And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone. Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget. If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state. You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way. And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down. Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.
Current mood:  crappy
Saturday, January 24, 2004
12:13PM
well everyone it's been awhile since i really updated im sitting here listenin to my music just thinking, so much thinking man it's like i can't even put into words how i feel it doesn't hurt but it doesn't feel good i had a talk with my mom about everything because she found out everything the pills, the drinking and some other things ive done in the past like weed and that stuff so we talked until about three in the morning she told me i was a fuck-up at one point maybe she was right i talked to her about me moving up the mountains with my cousins she actually took it into consideration i would finish my feshman year at that fuckin retarded school, judge then i would go up the mountains into sophmore i love philly just not the people in it maybe it would be for the better if i did go away for awhile i dont kno i just really dont kno anymore.
here's a bible passage for you all.
Psalms 51
1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. 4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. 5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. 6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. 7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. 9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. 12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
Current mood:  confused
Saturday, January 17, 2004
1:29AM
it's 1:30 in the morning i sat online since 11 oclock waiting and waiting that kid jon caldwell spent the night at tabby's he just broke up wit his girlfriend i read i guess im just paranoid i hope im just paranoid please god let me be just paranoid i cant take that too
Current mood:  frustrated
Friday, January 16, 2004
10:29PM
When I kill her, I'll have her
Dance upon the graves of the dead, upon your name
Die white girls, die white girls
Dance upon the graves of the dead, upon the graves of the dead
Current mood:  pissed off Current music: Coheed and Cambria -"The Velorium Camper III: Al The Killer"
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
7:52PM
Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
9:04PM
A killer in me is a killer in you.
Monday, January 12, 2004
7:04PM
"Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
The world is a vampire, sent to drain Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames And what do I get, for my pain Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game Even though I know-I suppose I'll show All my cool and cold-like old job Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal But can you fake it, for just one more show And what do you want, I want to change And what have you got When you feel the same Even though I know-I suppose I'll show All my cool and cold-like old job Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage Tell me I'm the only one Tell me there's no other one Jesus was the only son Tell me I'm the chosen one Jesus was the only son for you Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage And I still believe that I cannot be saved
Current mood:  stressed
Sunday, January 11, 2004
11:04PM
I'm the kind of man who - hasn't the least idea what kind of man I am.
Current mood:  tired Current music: tired of it all
Wednesday, January 7, 2004
2:56PM
Not even forever lasts forever and again I thought no matter how hard I try someday I'd be nothing.
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