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Based on the truth, and lies.

Monday, February 23, 2004

8:27PM - RADIOHEAD!!!!

If you don't believe me If you don't believe this
Sell your soul Sell yourself
If you don't get into it no one will

Current music: radiohead - polyethylene

{1 Won't bother to write | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Saturday, February 21, 2004

5:41PM

She says It helps with the lights out
Her rabid glow is like braille to the night.
She swears I'm a slave to the details
But if your life is such a big joke, why should I care?

Current mood: thoughtful

{Bye Bye Beautiful}

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

5:22PM

ahh
just got back from redeemer
(community service)
i was talking to courtney
for like two hours
it was wierd seeing her again
yea i had to watch little kids
it was alright though
i hope this weekend doesn't slip by
like the rest
i want to do something
alright imma go call someone
later

Current music: coheed and cambria - The Velorium Camper III: Al The Killer

{Bye Bye Beautiful}

Sunday, February 15, 2004

9:06PM

well it's sunday
this weekend was pretty boring
friday i think we jsut skated all night and just chilled
i kinda forget
saturday my friend greg came up
and we just skated once again
tonight i hung out at jons all day
we went out and skated every once and a while
thats about it,
talk to you all later

{Bye Bye Beautiful}

Thursday, February 12, 2004

8:17PM

what if there is no god?
what if the bible is some story made up by some crazy asshole?
what if some people have based their lives on something that doesn't exist?
what if nothing happens for a reason?
what if i never went to redeemer?
what if i never started skatin?
who would i be?
where would i be?
what if i could change some stuff?

damn..

what if?

{4 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Monday, February 9, 2004

3:25PM

friday i hung out wit jaime and her friend jackie
miguel and chris were with me
we had a fun time
saturday was a good skate day
all up until i busted my ankle
again
its all swollen and shit
oh well
then sunday we just sat in (me jon and chris)
well thats about it
school wasn't that bad today
alright
later

{1 Won't bother to write | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Friday, February 6, 2004

3:03AM

ugh
finally the end of the week
this weekend should be cool
tonight i think im goin up jaime's
then tomorrow i think im hangin out with erin and her friends
then sunday
i might just chill or go to the skatepark or somethin i dunno
ill write at the end of the weekend to tell you all
how things went
peace

Current mood: anxious

{Bye Bye Beautiful}

Monday, February 2, 2004

8:59PM

I'm seein red
Don't think you'll have to see my face again
don't have much time for sympathy
Cuz it never happened to me

So follow the leader down
And swallow your pride and drown
When there's no place left to go
Maybe thats when you will know

{3 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Sunday, February 1, 2004

11:39PM

man i really need to get up and get out
i've been just sitten around lately
i need to meet some people
need to find new stuff
i'm so sick of the same old same old
i need to skate more
beginning of a new quarter
i'm going to do good
no more bullshitting around
it's a whole new outlook on everything for me
why hate life?
i should enjoy it and get as much
fun out of it as possible
and i'm going to
no more pills
no more drinkin
no more of that stuff
it's pointless
everything's going to be great
and i'm so excited.

Current mood: awake

{4 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Thursday, January 29, 2004

1:54AM

its 2 in the morning
school at 7
what the fuck

{Bye Bye Beautiful}

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

11:09PM

I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out then to fade away.

-Kurt Cobain-

yea, that pretty much explains it.

Current mood: man it's just ehh
Current music: some good old nirvana

{2 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Monday, January 26, 2004

12:42AM

well me and tabby
broke up
i don't know why she hates me so much
it wasn't all my fault
anyway im only puttin this in here
for her sake
i hope she can move on
she has a better soul then me
and it wouldn't be right for me to bring her down to my level
i guess ill be gettin an i hate you letter or a nasty comment
or something
but i guess i deserve it
so call me what you want
i wont fight back
ill just take it
so before you hate me forever
just know that i did care about you.

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand. I hope you find out what you want. I already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again. And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am. I'll grow old and start acting my age. I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone. And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone. Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive. I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget. If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state. You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way. And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down. Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.

Current mood: crappy

{1 Won't bother to write | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Saturday, January 24, 2004

12:13PM

well everyone
it's been awhile since i really updated
im sitting here listenin to my music
just thinking,
so much thinking
man it's like i can't even put into words how i feel
it doesn't hurt but it doesn't feel good
i had a talk with my mom about everything
because she found out everything
the pills, the drinking and some other things ive done
in the past like weed and that stuff
so we talked until about three in the morning
she told me i was a fuck-up at one point
maybe she was right
i talked to her about me moving up the mountains
with my cousins
she actually took it into consideration
i would finish my feshman year at that fuckin retarded
school, judge
then i would go up the mountains into sophmore
i love philly
just not the people in it
maybe it would be for the better if i did go away
for awhile
i dont kno
i just really dont kno anymore.

here's a bible passage for you all.

Psalms 51

1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. 4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. 5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. 6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. 7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. 9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. 12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Current mood: confused

{3 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Saturday, January 17, 2004

1:29AM

it's 1:30 in the morning i sat online since 11 oclock
waiting
and waiting
that kid jon caldwell spent the night at tabby's
he just broke up wit his girlfriend i read
i guess im just paranoid
i hope im just paranoid
please god let me be just paranoid
i cant take that too

Current mood: frustrated

{4 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Friday, January 16, 2004

10:29PM

When I kill her, I'll have her

Dance upon the graves of the dead, upon your name

Die white girls, die white girls

Dance upon the graves of the dead, upon the graves of the dead

Current mood: pissed off
Current music: Coheed and Cambria -"The Velorium Camper III: Al The Killer"

{Bye Bye Beautiful}

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

7:52PM

Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die

{3 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

9:04PM

A killer in me is a killer in you.

{Bye Bye Beautiful}

Monday, January 12, 2004

7:04PM

"Bullet With Butterfly Wings"

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
Even though I know-I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold-like old job
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show
And what do you want, I want to change
And what have you got
When you feel the same
Even though I know-I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold-like old job
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son
Tell me I'm the chosen one
Jesus was the only son for you
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
And I still believe that I cannot be saved

Current mood: stressed

{2 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

Sunday, January 11, 2004

11:04PM

I'm the kind of man who - hasn't the least idea what kind of man I am.

Current mood: tired
Current music: tired of it all

{Bye Bye Beautiful}

Wednesday, January 7, 2004

2:56PM

Not even forever lasts forever and again I thought no matter how hard I try someday I'd be nothing.

{3 Won't bother to writes | Bye Bye Beautiful}

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